It’s been almost two months since I wrote my last blog posting. I told myself I would commit to posting, but somehow life got in the way. I look back over two months, and part of me is frustrated that I didn’t make the time to blog, especially when I look at how many jigsaw puzzles I have put together while listening to so many novels. Then I think about what I was doing when I wasn’t listening and playing.
First was the week I spent visiting ICU while someone I love dearly battled with her demons. She lost some fingers, but she is alive to tell the tale.
And the kidney stones that wanted to play.
And the college course I’m taking this quarter.
Plus – Somehow over the past two months I managed to finish the personalized professional development planning course I have been working on for months, finish putting all the early intervention resources into a usable format, created 36 digital badges on three different badging platforms while trying to figure out which one I liked best, created an online course plus 36 google forms while trying to figure out how to administer the badges, started building three online Deaf ed PLCs, rearranged my office, welcomed two new staff members, traveled to several parts of Texas for administrator meetings, finished some guidance documents, and tried to solve all the problems of the world with several groups of coworkers.
I guess I shouldn’t feel so guilty about getting behind in Email. Or not getting the newsletter done monthly.. Or that I haven’t kept up with blogging.
There has got to be an easier way to juggle and deal with the to-do-list, the fires, and still work on what I enjoy working on.
When I grow up, I will figure it all out! Until then, maybe I’ll join Fluffy in her cave and teach her how to do puzzles and create digital badges.
Ten days ago we were finishing up our packing and double checking that we had passports and tickets. Ten days ago we had not experienced the beauty that is London, experienced life in a fourth floor flat after walking miles daily, experienced tube rides and double decker bus rides and cab rides combined with walking miles daily, enjoyed dinner with baby girl in an open air market (after walking miles) while she talked about life in London and a planned trip to Italy. Ten days was way too short a time to truly experience London, even if we walked more than we do in a month at home!
Now we go back to the real world, with ten days of email and phone calls to catch up on, ten days of mail to sort through, ten days of going-ons to be apprised of. Ten days that seemed like no time at all while we were in London will suddenly seem like forever while trying to get caught up. No tea time, no nap time, no tubes, no baby girl. Just me and my honey, trying to remember how to behave in the real world, and wondering which tube station we have to walk a mile to before catching the underground to work. Or taking the 25 steps out to the car in the driveway.
We are visiting our daughter in London this week, and I figured out very quickly that my prior experiences of life might have been helpful, if I had actually accessed them in my memory banks rather than assuming! What I have learned from 2 days in London…
Fourth floor flat – this does not necessarily mean there will be an elevator! Lovely little flat, but holy moly, fourth floor means a lot of very steep steps!
When maps says to turn down a street that doesn’t look like a street, pay closer attention! A lot of those alleys are actually streets – and short cuts!
1/2 mile walk does not necessarily equal 1/2 mile – especially if you ignore the alleys that are actually streets. 12,099 steps and 5 miles by noon! Wow!
Going out in search of breakfast at 8:30 AM on a Saturday gets you nothing but grocery stores. When you just buy groceries and head home, all of the breakfast joints start opening – at 9am.
Trying to pick up take away lunch at 11:30 to take home with you gets you nothing but breakfast foods. Back to the grocery store, and all the lunch places open at noon on the way home.
Climbing 4 flights of steep stairs after walking 5 miles… I wonder if the pizza hut next door would let me lay down under their tables?
Going to the local chippie for dinner requires more thought than should be assumed. How hard could it be to order fish and chips? Unless you know the difference between cod, haddock, plaice, skate, and a few other choices, it isn’t that hard!
And back up the steps!
I will either spend this week bored because I won’t leave the flat (not the steps again) or I will be very fit and toned from all of the walking – if somewhat lame from the blisters!
This week I am taking a detour, spending the week closing up the house of someone I love who has to be away for awhile. There are so many thoughts running through my mind! Life is full of choices, and sometimes the most seemingly innocuous choice can have extremely huge consequences. That tiny little choice has a huge ripple effect, ending with a tidal wave of consequences that impact so many people.
It makes me wonder about choices I have made in my life, decisions I thought were little ones. I know full well I didn’t think through all of the possible consequences, didn’t always consider who would feel the impact. So how do I change that?
I am picturing this huge flow chart for every decision I make. If, then, unless, except, when the moon is in the seventh hour! My brain isn’t wired that way.
It is going to take a concerted effort on my part, with some intentional thought processing and pondering, to help my brain get wired that way. The people I love deserve it.
Tonight I decided to try a novel idea – going to bed instead of working on projects until way too late! I very proudly put away the project that has been my obsession for months.
And instead, I laid in bed, thinking of all the projects I should have been working on instead! I am not sure how creating mental to do lists, thinking of items for the kanban board, and trying to prioritize in my brain was supposed to be more restful than cleaning up an online course that is so close to being finished.
Hmmm, maybe I am going about this “time for bed” thing all wrong… maybe when I put away my laptop for the night, I should leave my brain in the living room as well. Then maybe the hamster wheel would stop turning.
Or maybe I should just go back to my personalized professional development course creation. It was more restful than my current bedtime “resting”!
I work with some amazing people! I am so blessed to have brilliant and talented people surrounding me at work every day. They make me look good!
This week is an exciting one for me. Our team is growing! Tuesday we are adding a staff member who will focus on birth to three sensory impairments. Then hopefully I will get the go ahead from HR to make an offer to another team member, this one focusing on school aged-stuff.
My hope is that by adding the additional staff, I might actually get half of my projects done this year that I have planned! No pressure…
This morning as I write, I am heartbroken over some things going on around me that I can’t control. I like control. I like fixing things. In my next life I am going to be a tube of Gorilla Glue! Unfortunately I am living this life right now, and my Gorilla Glue is all dried up.
It is hard to watch from the outside, wanting to help, wanting to fix, knowing there is little that can be done. Hugs and prayers are important, and I have lots of those to provide. I just wish they were enough. They will have to be, because that is all I have.
My daughter told me recently that it really is not my responsibility to fix everything broken around me. She is such a wise young woman. If only she had shared how to get rid of the feeling that it is my responsibility!
To all of you in my life with your world shattering – either because of the weather or because of health issues or because of people you love who made bad choices – I send you lots of prayers and hugs, I offer you my shoulder to lean on and cry on, I give you my ears and eyes to listen. And I will do my best to not try to fix things with my dried up tube of Gorilla Glue.